it's like a water fight

i gave up a while ago,
i was just better at make believe,
and there was always something in my mind,
that told me i wouldnt have to bleed again,
i had one small ember of hope inside of me,
but you came equipped with fire hydrants and water guns.

haaaaa

fuck this,
i deserve so much better.


now give me a tutu and a princess crown.


(i promise i can change the world.)

i'm lying here, hollow inside
and all your broken promises
and sinful words
are filling that space in my heart
and slowly i am overcome by the darkness,
because you taught me that it's better to let go
than to hold on and harm your hands.

eh.

but with every reassurance i grow less sure of the world around me
and it's slowly falling apart, and i'm standing in the middle of it all,
dodging rocks and broken glass,
whispering prayers that will never reach the heavens,
watching it self destruct.

i lie too much.

seriously. i'm a good liar so i get away with it.

from now on, i'm going to try not to lie like...fourty times a day.

i've created a three strike system. i can use three per day.
no more lying!

(strike one)

still

you're a drug i cannot quit

i can't get enough hits

i need more of you, baby, you make my heart swoon,

i miss you, yet you're only halfway across the room

but rehab's not the place for me,

in your arms is where i need to be.

this hole in my heart
is so damn sore
i wish i hadn't tried to heal it,
because, i found a cure, a silver thread
to stitch and mend
but when i went to sew the wound
i found it didn't fit me right


so now i must unstitch my mistakes
all i want to know is
how long it will take.

we all laugh and cheer
acting like we know each other,
on the inside we're dying to meet,
unlock the doors to your soul
let me settle down inside
let me see who you really are,
once i'm here, you cannot hide.

8:50 pm

waiting for you again

the clock's laughing at me now

it's minute hands pointing out my faults

wasting my time, (maybe)

not that it matters anymore,

but you hardly know that my world revolves around you

titles!

oh dear i never title my blogs.


i'm so forgetful of things

tis funny.
teheheheh.



god i'm so tired.

going to the jazzband concert
woohooo.

and ordering a webcam soon!

excited=me.

6:11 pm

staring at the phone

willing it to ring,

deciding maybe
therapy wouldn't be such a bad thing

american idol.

so i've decided that
i'm gunna win american idol.

and be paid to do what i like.

lmao that would be so awesome.
just cos i need something to dream about
i guess that's what it'll be.

lol this blog has NOOOOOOOO point

but i sorta like it :D

you'll hear more from me
i promise :d