oh, and one more thing...
this is probably just a stupid crush that'll last a week,

but it takes my mind off of you.
and that's the second step of the rehab process.
i admitted that i had a problem a long time ago, but could never get you off my mind.
but now he's in my life, i'm getting better.

i only thought about you (while you weren't talking to me/sitting next to me) twice today.
and even then i was thinking normal, rational thoughts.
i'm proud.

today.

i smiled today.


for the first time
i wasn't putting it on
to make people not worry.


it felt so good.

like i finally completed a puzzle after a very long time of staring at the last piece.

i feel whole again.

i'm happy.

ergh.

no, i will not interfere,
but do not expect me
to just sit here, and watch
you fall in love with someone else.

it's unfamiliar to me,
such a stinging irony,
i'm the girl watching from the sidelines,
as you and her plan out a new life.

but i refuse to look,
not willingly,
i know that we're over,
you and me,
and i know i've got to let it be.

the only way i can carry out my plan,
is if i pretend we've never held hands,
that we're just passing strangers,
on a street, busy, crowded,
with shuffling feet.

i'm sorry that this is how it must be,
i've got to let go completely,
drop you out of my life entirely,
i simply need a clean break
to get rid of this dull ache.

save me.

somebody save me,
somebody, reach out, and take me,
somebody, save me,
somebody, help me, i'm falling.

tired of being so tired,
eyes so broken, full of desire,
reaching out, can't find your hand,
thinking i was on the mend,

somebody save me,
somebody, reach out, and take me,
somebody, save me,
somebody, help me, i'm falling.

thank you for being such a dick-faced, moody, PMS-y, wishy-washy bastard.
why, yes, i do love getting ignored. it's like...my favorite thing. ever.
i would take action,
but i'm pretty sure it's illegal in Massachusetts to push someone in front of a moving vehicle.

fuck you for every feeling you've ever made me wish i hadn't felt.

autumn.

the leaves are falling down,
the birds are flying south,
the street light, guides my way,
it's my home now, it's where i'll stay.

it is autumn, and you are gone,
it is autumn, and you are gone,
it is autumn and you are gone and i am fine,
and i am fine.

i turn the key, in the door,
it's weird to think it's not ours anymore,
i take off my shoes and breathe,
the air without your schemes.

it is autumn, and you are gone,
it is autumn, and you are gone,
it is autumn, and you are gone and i am fine,
yeah, i am fine.

stop running so fast, i need time to catch up

i could avoid all the situations i put myself in
where i have to be near to you.
they are easily evaded.
but the happiness of seeing you
(slightly) outweighs the pain of remembering you're no longer mine.

what happened? how did everything go so wrong?

i was looking for happiness in all the wrong places
and so i decided to look in the right places.
but i still haven't found it.
if you come across it, call me.
i would like it back.

i love it when the rain pours down,
it beats in the perfect rhythm of your heart,
and the raindrops are like the tears you wept
making a beautiful and elegant art.

The sky turns a misty gray
Your eyes immediately speak to me
With silent words and quieted speech,
The evergreens and grasses sway

The thunder and the words you screamed
Go in perfect harmony.

more postsecrets (:

i didnt really like them that much this week...i liked the marriage one a lot...but then i was disappointed, lol.

i wish he shared the same secret, but he doesn't.
whoever it is... i hope she recognized your hand writing, too. don't give up hope. love comes in the strangest forms.

i finally know where i'm going.
i just wish you would come with me.

i turn around just to watch you leave,
feeling my heart rip off it's sleeve,
something like this might never happen again.

please let me in.

it will never be the same.

terrifying.

i try so hard to make you smile,
then regret it for a while,
forget my weakness,
the cycle restarts itself again.

see, the problem is whenever
you give me that crooked smile,
it makes me weak, and all i want
to do is run to you, and wrap my
arms around you and your beautiful
soul, and feel your body smile, too.

it's a problem i need to fix,
but for now i'll take another quick fix,
you're certainly my drug of choice,
the freckles on your arms,
the laugh in your voice.