what the fuck am i supposed to do.
what do YOU expect me to do?
i'm not over him.
you know that and i know that.
why are we even trying?

this is bad.
so so so bad
i'm in a situation where i simply cannot win.
can i just not make a choice?
i'd be okay staying right here, curled up, safe, in my computer chair.
never having to move or think or breathe or do a single thing.
including make decisions.
decisions where i know someone's going to get hurt.
well, you're going to be harmed either way.
i shouldnt be so worried
i should repeat to myself all the little lies i've invented to keep me from going
absolutely positively insane
but i cant.
i cant make believe anymore because just outside of my perfect little bubble is this whole
stupid
huge
world.
and it's cold and dark and i cant recognize anyones faces.
i dont want to live in that world.
never ever ever.
i dont even want to think about it
but it's inevitable.
what do you want me to do?
do you want me to keep lying?
to keep pretending it's all okay?
i suppose i can keep doing that but one day i'm gunna have to own up to it.
i'm not worth it
you're supposed to be gone by now
please, run from me.
i'm more monster than you think,
and i dont want to hurt you.
god i dont want to hurt you.